This One Time At Band Camp
by Fantasizedemo97
Summary: Rating will go up in time, Genres: Humor, Romance, Drama. YAOI. HET. Possible Yuri  Look inside for more details, cause that's where most of it is.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N:_** _Hi! Okay, first off, this isn't really about being in Band Camp, but is more based off the joke of all the stuff that happens when you're in band. My friend asked me to write this, cause she's in our schools Winter Percussion, and there is SO MUCH DRAMA. Seriously, I heard this one guy—Heh, no, that's for another chapter… ^^' Anyway, yeah, most of the things going on in this are based off what my friend hears about in band. :DD And, there is no 'main character' really, everyone is in it, and I hope to make it equal. _

_I'm thinking of being a little more professional with this stuff, so, here you go~_

**Disclaimer: **_Dudes, I don't own Hetalia. There would way more yaoi in it if I did. _

**Warnings: **_Excessive use of Band instruments and terms, Drama, Pairings changing every few chapters, Yaoi possibly, and use of swears, perverted speech, slang, teenage stuff. Oh, and maybe even talk of drugs. What kind of high school would this be without it?_

_Just so you guys aren't confused at all- Wales is Arwyn, Ireland is Torin, and Scotland is Duncan, New Zealand is Faren Bennet, Australia is Jett Bennet, Romania is Vladimir Vasilescu, Bulgaria is Gavrail Buchvarov, Rome is Julius Vargas, and Germania is Sigifrith Beilschmidt_

_And now, here's the first chapter! Hope you guys like it! ; u ;_

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><p>World Academy is a famous, international school for a number of things: the occasional genius-status student, its beautiful campus, the amazing Arts Department, and so on. It's a school for the rich, incredibly smart, and talented. As expected of a school like this, their show choir, band, and visual arts department in general are jam-packed with artists and thespians, all bursting with talent and promise. And hormones. Yes, hormones. This <em>is<em> a high school, and what high school doesn't have hormones and drama galore? That's right. None.

One would expect most of the drama to be with the thespian kids, the show choir and drama students, but that's not necessarily true. Band (Marching band, winter percussion) students are a time-bomb of emotion, and something dramatic happens all the time. That one Trombone player might sleep with the Piccolo player one night, and then be back with his Bass drum-playing ex-girlfriend the next day. The Woodwinds section leader might get high or drunk during a performance and ruin everything. Someone might even get it on in the band closet!

Its high school; who knows what's gonna happen next? No one! Besides the narrator. You know, 'cause the narrator knows all. And that's how you, the reader, will also know. Through the narrator. So, let's introduce this series of drama now.

-(\/)-

It's the beginning of the school year at World Academy, and already the band students (even though some of them are also thespians and could be doing other stuff; but let's set that thought aside) are lining up at the entrance to the band room, instruments in hand, ready to get passes to go to the band room during studies, or just find somewhere besides their dorm rooms to store their big drums, brass, and woodwind instruments. Most of them are completely fine with their smallish or medium sized rooms having space taken up by their beloved instruments, however, so they're kind of just there for passes and/or to hang out in the room where they spend at least 2 hours every day in already.

"You know, Quads were invented in Korea," Im Yong Soo, one of the most annoying Snare players in band and probably his home country of Korea, said to Elizabeta Héderváry, the Hungarian tenor drum section leaser, with a wink. Elizabeta, a strong, independent white girl who doesn't need no Korean boy hitting on her so annoyingly, promptly punched his arm as she walked over to her Austrian friend, Roderich Edelstein, who is Pitt section leader. Im Yong Soo found another person to pester in the form of the Hong Kong native, Xiao Kaoru, who could tolerate the Korean better than most people, and might even go as far as to call him a good friend.

Across the hall stood Feliks Łukasiewicz, the Polish Pittster, and his friend Toris Laurinaitis, a Lithuanian clarinet player, talking about the ever intimidating Ivan Braginski, a Russian Pittster who enjoyed scaring the Latvian mellophone player, Raivis Galante, as well as the Estonian tuba player, Eduard Von Bock, and said Lithuanian. In fact, as Feliks and Toris were talking about the Russian terror (who was rumored to be named after Ivan the Terrible of Russia), Raivis was being teased by him, while Eduard could barely pry his eyes off his iPhone to witness the poor kid sniffle as he lost another quarter inch of his height from Ivan's strong hand pushing down.

Ivan's two sisters, Katyusha the Ukrainian alto sax player and Natalia Arlovskaya, a Belarusian flute player, just watched in concern for the Latvian, and love for their brother respectively. And, why are they siblings, yet with different last names and nationalities? Long story, one that we won't get into for a while. Why? Because that's what the narrator said, and all arguments are invalid. That's why.

Ahem. Now, as all this stuff happened, Alfred F. Jones, the American trombone player who insisted on having his middle initial be seen if his last name was mentioned, even though no one even knew what his middle name was, and his brother, Matthew Williams, a Canadian Pittster, (You may ask again, 'how are they related?'. Same answer as last time) were walking through the groups of band students.

"Do you remember that one day of Band camp? When we caught Sigifrith and Julius making out? Aww man, that was hilarious!" Alfred said loudly, and Matthew's face grew a little red when some of the other students looked over at them with disapproving glares.

"Yes, I do remember, Al. I don't think anyone could forget, even without you screaming it down the hall," Matthew said silently. He rolled his eyes at his brother's idiocy and obnoxiousness. Alfred had been going on about band camp memories since they woke up, as he had been every day for the past 2 weeks. Alfred really got excited around the time band and band camp started.

As they walked by, Lovino Vargas, an Italian snare player, watched with a glare. His and his brother, Feliciano Vargas (who was a trumpet player, also from Italy) were the grandsons of Julius Vargas, even though Julius really didn't look a day over 26. Lovino disliked anyone bringing that band camp incident up, or any of the other 20 they'd had where someone caught Julius and Sigifrith making out, as Lovino didn't want anyone in his family having relations with a 'potato bastard'. So naturally the fact that his younger brother was dating Ludwig Beilschmidt, the German band conductor in his brothers' grade and one of Sigifrith's sons, pissed him off especially. And so he focused all this anger on Alfred as the blonde walked by talking about these incidents. Lovino was too tired to yell at the hamburger bastard though, so he just burned a hole through the American's head with his eyes.

Gilbert Beilschmidt, brother of Ludwig, son of Sigifrith, and snare player, was at that time telling said brother Ludwig of his awesomeness, while the latter just wanted to be able to see Feliciano without being cussed at by Lovino. But, you know, that's a little hard to do, since it's Lovino we're talking about. So he just settled for pretending to listen to his brother proclaim his awesomeness while he and Feliciano send each other texts.

Five Scandinavian students were in their own group near the entrance to the band room. Tino Väinämöinen, the Finnish quads player, and Berwald Oxenstierna, Swedish bass player, were looking through an IKEA catalogue, while Tino also asked for the Swedes opinion on what to name the dog Tino wanted to get. Mathias Køhler, Danish quads player, was talking excitedly to the Norwegian piccolo player, Lukas Bondevik, about something that Lukas didn't care to listen to. Lukas' brother Emil Steilsson, an Icelandic born Pittster, was sitting on the floor with his back against the wall as he slipped a few pieces of salmiakki into his mouth. He was looking around the room when he caught the eye of Kaoru, who looked at him intently before Emil looked away, blushing. Lukas, who apparently likes to watch his brother closely, noticed the exchange and narrowed his eyes. But no one could really tell that his eyes were narrowed, since his face remained mostly deadpanned and expressionless, like always. Anyway, he was kind of pissed off.

So, as Lukas was silently and expressionlessly fuming, Arthur Kirkland, the British Pittster with big eyebrows, and his brothers, Arwyn (who played Trombone and had more of a Welsh accent than a British accent), Torin (their half-brother from Ireland who played the trumpet), and Duncan (the oldest brother, who insisted on speaking with a Scottish accent, played trombone, and was Brass section leader) made their very loud entrance. Torin and Duncan were fighting loudly over something that must have happened at breakfast, while Arwyn looked like he wanted to step in and stop it, but was unable to, since he would most likely be pushed away by his bigger brothers. Arthur looked like he just wanted to be invisible when all eyes turned to them for a good five minutes as the Irish and Scotsman fought. He noticed Alfred still talking to Matthew a few yards up, picked up his guitar case, and jogged over, glad to be away from his insane older brothers, finally.

"Yo, Artie, remember that one time at band camp—" Alfred began, but was cut off by Arthur.

"Yes, Alfred, I haven't forgotten. You've been reminding me of it far too often for that," Arthur said as he rolled his eyes. "Those idiots can never stop fighting." Arthur looked back at his brothers, who were just as Arthur had left them.

Matthew nodded. "What happened this time?"

Arthur shrugged. "The same thing that always happens. Duncan was telling us all about his bagpipes and how they should be an instrument in Marching Band, and Torin of course had to insult bagpipes, the bloody wanker, and that's how they've been dealing with it the rest of the morning."

"Heh, you said wanker, Artie," Alfred snorted as he thought of what the word actually meant.

Arthur glared at Alfred. "Stop thinking that 'masturbator' is the only meaning of the word! It means idiot too, dipstick. And my name isn't 'Artie', it's 'Arthur'." But alas, Alfred didn't care about the technicalities Arthur liked to go into.

"I wonder when Julius will be opening the band room." Matthew asked to no one in particular. And yes, everyone refers their band director as his actual name. Behind his back. When he's in the room they refer to him as 'J-fly'. As for Sigifrith, he's T-Swag. They both hate the nicknames, but it's better than what the kids originally wanted to call them. Which we won't get into. Yet.

Lars Jansen, the Dutch Woodwind section leader who played alto sax, answered the rhetorical question. "Right now," he said as he walked by them with his Belgian half-sister, Emma, who also played the alto sax. He grinned and saluted at them as he walked into the room.

As most of the band students filed inside, Francis Bonnefoy, French clarinet player who was known for being, well, a whore, and Antonio Fernández Carriedo, a Spanish Pittster, just arrived. Antonio was telling Francis about the bongo drums that he'd recently bought, and how much he liked them. It was really cute, so Francis decided to hug him. And grope him, you know, cause he's Francis. But Antonio didn't realize that, because, you know, he's Antonio.

Gilbert came over to them while this happened and glomped them, as Alfred likes to say, and they all fell over, laughing. A Greek bass player, Heracles Karpusi, and his Egyptian friend, Gupta Hassan, walked right over them while the Turkish snare player, Sadik Adnan, raced after them, intent on starting a fight with Heracles, because that's just what they did. It was kind of a tradition for them to start fighting over something stupid before they reached the band room. And, yeah, it always happened. Sadik made sure of that. If you think about it, it's kind of how Duncan and Torin are.

Meanwhile, in the band room, Wang Yao (or Yao Wang . . . however it's said), the Chinese bass player was talking to his cousin's, Vietnamese alto sax player, Liên Kim, and Taiwanese flute player Xiao Mei , with Yong Soo and Kaoru pestering their other cousin, Honda Kiku, a Japanese Pittster right next to them.

Faren Bennet, the little New Zealander that played Trumpet, and his older half-brother, Jett Bennet, an Australian trombone player, were putting their instruments down as they waited for J-fly to come out of the band office so that they could get passes for their studies, when Vladimir Vasilescu (a Romanian tuba player who liked to annoy people and fool around) and his Bulgarian friend, Gavrail Buchvarov, who played the clarinet, came barging through, and knocked down their cases. Faren's eyes widened and he flung himself down to see if his beloved instrument was okay or not. Jett raised his fist in the air comically and told them off loudly, but was really more concerned with his trombone, as any sane band kid would be. What? A band kid's instrument is like a mother's baby. Don't mess with a band instrument.

Anyway. J-fly was in his office while all this horrible stuff went on, talking to T-swag about the Band Camp incident, where the kids had caught them making out. No, they didn't know that the students had seen it happening at least 20 times before that. Naturally they were a little worried. But we don't have to see any of that yet. Nah, let's just move on to where a certain German (Or as he'd rather say, 'Prussian') boy stood with his friends, right in the band room doorway.

Francis was going on about how he'd gotten laid by one twin on Monday and the other on Tuesday, but mixed up their names. ". . . and when she started hitting me with her Trigonometry book I decided it'd be a good time to leave, but then her _sister_ came into the room, and she started throwing pencils at me. . ." Francis went on like that, but Gilbert wasn't really paying attention. He was a little busy checking out Elizabeta, who was standing with her crush, Roderich.

Well, damn.

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><p><em><strong>AN:** Woo hoo! I finished the first chapter! And only in like, a day. HOW WEIRD. I usually take forever. (This will be a long Authors Note, I can tell)_

_First off, I realize that some things may be weird, and that this isn't my usual writing style. Yup. Haha, I'm not sure if anyone will like this new style of mine-that-isn't-really-new-to-other-authors. IT'S CALLED USING HUMOR. I'M NEW TO IT, APPARENTLY. I've noticed that most of my fanfictions aren't very funny, contrary to their genre, sooooooo. Yeah. I hope this one is actually good. xD And as funny as I want it to be.._

_The rating will probably change, you know, cause I might have some smut later on. I'll warn you guys when that happens. xD __And I know that some of these characters have names that Hima said are possible names for them, but the ones that I named here are named this because I felt like shaking it up a bit. I like these names, they're interesting._

_J-fly and T-swag are the nicknames for my schools band teacher Mr. Flinn and this guy Tom who helps out at Winter Percussion. xD Like, it's hilarious. You know it is, don't deny it. _

_For those of you who /haven't/ already been to my Facebook page, it's titled 'Fantasizedemo97'. Yeah, same thing as on here. xD UHHHHHHM. _

_Yeah, I think that's it. Sorry for the long authors note. orz. Anyway, reviews, favorites, alerts, those are all awesome. :D Especially reviews. xS (And if you have questions you can put those in the review, or on my facebook page)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: **__And here is le new chapter~ Anyways, yeah, I decided to update /this/ before a story I haven't updated in months. :D ? By the way, I'm aware that I made a few mistakes in the last chapter, and I'll be sure to fix those (at some point). This time I had my friend who's actually /doing/ band read this over before I publish._

_Anywho, yesh, this'd be the new chapter. I hope it doesn't suck. ^-^' _

_**Disclaimer: **__If Hetalia was mine I'd be Hidekaz Himaruya; I'm not that big a troll. (Also, people know what I look like and I'm not currently Missing In Action.)Technically the plot of this is more of a real life thing, but. WHATEVER._

_**Warning: **__Profanity, Yaoi, Stereotypical Teenage things, BAND TERMS GALORE. (Okay, probably not as many as I make it seem, since /I/ don't even know so many, but hush, hush)_

_Again, here's the names- Wales is Arwyn, Ireland is Torin, and Scotland is Duncan, New Zealand is Faren Bennet, Australia is Jett Bennet, Romania is Vladimir Vasilescu, Bulgaria is Gavrail Buchvarov, Rome is Julius Vargas, and Germania is Sigifrith Beilschmidt_

_And now after all that stuff, here'd be the actual story~!_

* * *

><p>Julius rolled his eyes as he unlocked the Band Closet a few days later, with half of the Brass students jumping around behind him, eager to get their instruments out. Seriously, Alfred and Feliciano were jumping around, and Vash Zwingli, the Swiss Mellophone player who is just now appearing apparently, glared at them angrily, admittedly a little bitter about having been knocked down by Alfred. Once the door was opened Julius pushed through the students as they flowed through the doorway. He stumbled back to his office, shaking his head at how in love with their instruments they were.<p>

Alfred got to his trombone first, having pushed his way in once the door opened, but he didn't move from his spot. Duncan glared at him and told him to get out of the closet since he already had his trombone, but Alfred shook his head. "Dude, it feels different in here. I don't know how, though," Alfred explained confusedly as he scratched his head.

Duncan shrugged and left, still a little pissed off. Honestly, this guy had _such _a temper. Alfred looked around a little, since he's too curious for his own good. The trumpet players had already left, as had his fellow trombone players, but one mellophone player and the two tuba players were still making their ways out.

Alfred knew what this felt like . . . Like . . . Sex. Kind of like someone had had _sex_ in there. Don't ask how, he's a teenager, he can practically _smell _the sex in the air. In the freaking Band Closet. A little bit more investigating and he found what he was looking for though. Alfred picked up the tube, which was half full, and looked at it in disgust. _Oh my god, eeeewwww. Seriously, lube in the freaking band closet? EW. What. The. Fuck,_ he thought as he quickly dropped the thing onto a shelf where it wouldn't be seen.

That was pretty gross. And a little disturbing. Julius yelled for him to get out of the closet and start practicing though, so he didn't have any time to hurl.

-(\/)-

As one would expect, Alfred didn't keep this a secret. Oh gosh, no. Why would he when something like _this_ happened? Yeah, that's not something to keep to yourself. At least, not with Alfred's logic.

So, by the time lunch rolled around that day basically all the band kids knew. And soon enough, so would the other students. Yeah, rumors spread fast, don't they?

During lunch the entire band table was talking in hushed voices about this, although it isn't like they really cared if other people found out. It just seemed more dramatic that way. Anyway.

"Wait, Alfred, are you absolutely sure about this?" Arthur asked him, slow to believe that Alfred was right, more apt to think that Alfred was just being an over-dramatic idiot.

"Yes! I saw it with my own eyes, Artie. It was a tube of lube! Legit!" Alfred waved his hands about to show that he was really. Fucking. Serious. "And I don't think anyone would rub lube on their instruments, either." Now, this isn't quite true, but we won't go there yet.

Matthew shrugged. "I would believe you, Al, but you have a tendency to, well, lie. Or over react. Maybe you should actually _show _us." Alfred pouted, but agreed to show them later.

Way across the table sat those Scandinavian kids, Tino, Berwald, Mathias, Lukas, and Emil. Mathias was being loud as he told Tino and Berwald all about what Alfred had told him first hand. Emil was looking a little pale, so Lukas was fussing over him like the good big brother he is. Although, if you ask Emil he'd say Lukas is just obsessive and over protective. Lukas, however, either doesn't know about this or just doesn't give a damn.

"So, Al told me that there was this bottle of fucking _lube_ just sitting there all opened and there was stuff all over the floor. It was freaking disgusting, apparently. There was lube all over the damn tube, and it was just _oozing_ out, and—" Suddenly Mathias was cut off by Lukas' fist slamming into his face.

"Shut up, we're trying to eat lunch and you're going to make Tino puke," he said without even looking towards Mathias, his eyes trained on Tino's face, which seemed to be growing green at a rapid pace as he stared down at his suddenly unappetizing food. However, after this was said Tino looked up at Lukas, his face blushing slightly.

While Lukas' attention was elsewhere Emil looked over at Kaoru, who was sitting with Im Yong and Yao, and they blushed, looking down at their food again before giving each other small smiles. Kaoru looked toward the water bubblers, as if to tell Emil to meet him there, and he got up a second later. Emil was about to get up also, but Lukas looked up at him.

"Where are you going?" Lukas asked.

"I'm just going to get a drink. Jeez, Lukas," Emil said as he left. Lukas glared after him.

Kaoru and Emil met at the bubbler and started talking softly. Vash and his sister, Lili Zwingli, the petit Pittster, walked by at that time, Vash's loud, angry voice drowning out Kaoru and Emil's conversation from us. What a shame.

"It's disgusting what Alfred is spreading around!" Vash yelled, more to himself (Okay, with his voice that loud most people heard him) than to his sister. Vash was pretty protective of his sister in that no one was allowed to corrupt her with anything perverted. Obviously he wasn't thinking, as he'd been shouting about what Alfred had spread around since they started walking. Plus it isn't like Lili could get away from that 'corruption' when there were girls like Elizabeta in the school.

"It may be true, but it isn't like we need to _hear_ about it! Even if the thought of it happening disgusts me even more than the rumor itself . . ." Vash trailed off as he realized he was contradicting himself a little. Lili giggled, and Vash shot her a look, but wasn't able to actually be angry at her. He laughed a little too.

-(\/)-

When the school day ended and afterschool activities started, Alfred brought Matthew, Arthur, Mathias, and all the other people who were curious, which was basically all the band students, to the band closet. No one had found the tube that day besides him, so it was a surprise to them when they saw it was actually _there. _

Arthur and Matthew's eyes widened. "Fuck. It's actually _there_," the British punk said, surprised.

"See? Told you!" Mathias shouted to his friends. Tino was about to vomit when Berwald rushed him out of the room, and Lukas punched Mathias in the arm.

"That's . . . That's fucking gross," Gilbert said, as his two friends, Antonio and Francis, just gaped.

Elizabeta was the one who voiced what they were all _really_ thinking though. "Who did it in the band closet?"

Yeah, no one had an answer.

-(\/)-

Alfred vowed to find out who it was that weekend, and everyone immediately started placing bets on when and if he'd figure it out, along with who it was. Alfred, meanwhile, had assembled a team to help him out with this. The hero apparently needs some side-kicks.

He sat on the bleachers of the sports field with Elizabeta, Mathias, Arthur (Who was only really only there because Alfred practically begged him to go), and the Bad Touch Trio, which consisted of Francis, Gilbert, and Antonio. Funny how they were all also part of the bets; looked like these guys had the upper hand, the lucky bastards.

"I vote we look for clues as to who it was first!" Alfred exclaimed, as Arthur face-palmed.

"This isn't a damn detective story, we don't need to look for _clues_," he said, irritated.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Then we need to 'narrow down the fucking list' of who could be behind it." Arthur face-palmed again.

"Who actually had access to the closet?" asked Elizabeta. This was really exciting for her, since it was yaoi, and therefore something she could put in a fan-book once she found out the people who did it. Yaoi-crazed fangirl that she is.

No one else was in Brass but Alfred so they all looked at him while he got distracted by angry birds. "Huh?" he asked when he realized none of them were saying anything. "Oh! Yeah, uh, I think Duncan has a key, and obviously J-fly has one, probably T-Swag too. I think that's it, but the keys are usually right there on J-Fly's desk, so it isn't like no one could take them."

They fell silent for a minute. Mathias said, "Why not just go ask Duncan if he lent the keys to anyone?"

"Well how do we know _he _didn't do it? Or maybe it was Julius and Sigifrith?" Francis suggested rationally.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "I doubt Duncan would do anything like that. He doesn't even have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and he doesn't spend much time in the Closet at all. He was fighting with Torin the night it happened, anyway."

"What if they were fighting and—" Elizabeta started and was cut off by a loud "No!" from all the boys. She crossed her arms, disappointed.

"I refuse to even consider the idea that my brother's had incestuous hate sex in the band closet, Elizabeta." Arthur looked kind of sick at the thought, even. Elizabeta pouted a little and Gilbert smirked.

"Okay, now that that idea's been killed off, I guess the only thing left is to see if he lent the keys to someone or if Julius and Sigifrith got it on," Alfred said. Gilbert's smirk died and he made the motion of puking.

"Well, let's go ask then," Antonio said, getting up with a grin. The rest of them did the same and began walking to the school when Mathias pointed something out.

"Do we even know where he is? Arthur, you're his brother, where the hell would he be today?" Everyone looked at Arthur.

He shrugged. "Not sure. Probably either in the dorm common room or out in the town."

"Let's split up!" Alfred said. "Some of us can find Duncan, and the others can see if it was really J-Fly and T-Swag that did it!"

The others mumbled sarcastically about how very original his idea was, but they agreed to it, and in the end Elizabeta, Francis and Mathias went to see if it was Sigifrith and Julius while Alfred, Arthur, Gilbert and Antonio had to find Duncan and see who he lent the keys to.

-(\/)-

Alfred's group found Duncan in the common room, with Lars, Arwyn, and Lukas, sitting on a bean bag chair and watching a documentary on television. Alfred walked up to them, Antonio, Arthur, and Gilbert in tow, and cleared his throat.

"Hey, Duncan! You got a minute?" Alfred said when Duncan looked up at him.

Duncan shrugged. "Sure. What do ya want?"

"Did you lend anyone your key to the Band Closet? Like, before we found out that someone had sex in there?" Apparently he had no problem saying this aloud.

Duncan shook his head. "Why would I? The thing's open half the time, it isn't like they really need keys to get in unless it was before or after school. Anyway, Julius usually has the keys right out on his desk."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Do you even watch over them so carefully? What if someone took them while you were fighting with Torin or something?"

"Er, well, not that carefully . . ." Duncan scratched his head as he tried to remember if anyone had gotten his key. "But I still doubt it. And, why are you taking this so seriously? S'not like it really matters so much."

"Because I promised everyone I would, that's why! And I gotta keep my promises, people need to trust their hero. Duh," Alfred suddenly said. It seemed Arthur was face-palming a lot that day, as he did it again when Alfred said this. Antonio stifled laughter while Gilbert let it all out. Alfred pouted a little, which also seemed a little frequent that day.

As Lars had his bet placed on Alfred finding the 'culprit', he nodded and said, "Yeah, Alfred, keep up that honesty, make us proud to have you as a hero."

Alfred winked with a grin before Arthur knocked it off his face with a swift slap to the back of the head. "Alfred, are we going to figure out who it was or not? Stop wasting time on declaring how much of a 'hero' you are."

Gilbert caught Arthur in a choke-hold and gave him a noogie. "Aww, c'mon Iggybrows, give him a break. Kid's got to have some fun with this, _ja_?"

Arwyn and Lukas exchanged glances and went back to watching the program, bored with the idiocy of their peers. After having gotten side-tracked that first time, they never really got back on topic, but they also didn't feel like it much, so they went with the assumption that Duncan hadn't accidentally or purposely let anyone into the Band Closet.

"Maybe we should meet up with Elizabeta, Mathias, and Francis now . . ." Alfred said. "I bet they're in the band room or something, let's go there."

-(\/)-

While Alfred's group talked to Duncan, Elizabeta's group was following their band directors around. Mathias called it stalking, Elizabeta called it observing, which she apparently did often. Not that Mathias or Francis would have anything negative to say about, nope. And it had nothing to do with the fact that she could kick their asses if they pissed her off enough.

Elizabeta and the two boys were sitting in the buses right under the band director's office window. Julius and Sigifrith were currently in said office, and Elizabeta's head was just barely poking out of the bush as she watched them with a predatory smile. Mathias was a little creeped out by it, but Francis shrugged and looked from over her shoulder. Julius usually left the window open, so the three students heard his conversation with Sigifrith pretty well.

Julius was sitting at his desk, leaning back and feet up. Sigifrith had his arms crossed as he stood in front of said desk, looking down at Julius with a frown as the latter grinned up at him. "Have you heard the rumors going around _at all_, Julius?" Sigifrith asked in annoyance.

"Of course I have, Siggy! We're in a high school, there are lots!" Julius said, totally oblivious to what Sigifrith actually meant.

Sigifrith pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Don't call me that, my name is Sigifrith. And, I meant a certain one that pertains to the Band Closet."

Julius thought for a moment. "No, I like Siggy, it fits. I mean seriously, look at your hair; you look like a rock star. You can't tell me that 'Siggy' doesn't sound like a rock star name." Sigifrith rolled his eyes. "And, _oh_, _that_ rumor. Siggy, you should've just said so, I would've known." Julius laughed.

"I always thought he looked more like Legolas than a rock star," Mathias whispered to Francis, who nodded in agreement. Elizabeta glared at them and they quieted down so she could hear.

"I assumed you would know, seeing as you're the band director! I didn't assume you would pay attention to rumors outside your department," Sigifrith said angrily. Julius laughed; obviously he would listen to the other rumors! Jeesh, it'd just be boring if he only listened to who was dating who in Band; he needs more juicy rumors to help spread.

Julius told the blonde this, and Sigifrith resisted the urge to punch him. Elizabeta resisted the urge to punch Mathias, as he was silently laughing his ass off, and if he got any more vocal then their cover would be blown.

"Julius, shut the hell up and listen. Since you seem to be more interested in juvenile rumors than your own damn _job_, I assume that you know all the details of it."

Julius nodded. "Yeah, Alfred found lube in the band closet, along with some, er, mature, bodily substances, and told everyone about it. I placed a bet on if he'd find out too; honestly, I doubt he can, who'd be honest about doing it in the band closet?" He laughed again, and Sigifrith had to again resist the urge to punch him.

"You placed a _bet_ on this? Are you insane or just stupid?" He shook his head in exasperation. "Anyway, the point is, when and if he figures out who did it someone needs to be punished. Students can't just have _sex_ in the band closet."

Elizabeta frowned, disappointed (She'd had a bet placed that it was Sigifrith and Julius), and Mathias asked her, "Does this mean they didn't do it? Should we report back to Alfred?" She shook her head, still curious of what their teachers would say. She was also a little reluctant to accept that she just lost 15 bucks.

Julius chose to ignore the first part of what Sigifrith said. He made a face. "I guess so. Although wouldn't it be fun to just wonder about it?"

Sigifrith gave him a look. "No, it's unprofessional. And even if Alfred doesn't find out who it is and embarrass them by letting the whole school know, we still need to as teachers."

Julius groaned. "C'mon, Siggy! Give whoever-the-kid-is a break! We don't even know if Alfred was telling the truth, I mean really. I looked in there after everyone cleared out that day, and there was nothing there. He was probably just trying to get attention."

Francis and Mathias stifled laughter, and even Elizabeta had to hold in hers. The only reason Julius hadn't seen it was because Roderich and Vash had insisted that someone clean it up and dispose of the lube.

Sigifrith sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Fine," he said as Julius grinned, "but only because you made that point."

Sigifrith left the office, and Julius went back to leafing through sheets of music, so Elizabeta, Mathias, and Francis snuck out of the bush and back to the main building of the school.

"That wasn't what I was hoping for," Elizabeta said with a sigh.

Francis nodded. "_Oui_, but at least we know that it wasn't them. I still have my money so far."

"Me too. Who do you think it'd be, anyway?" Mathias asked curiously.

"I thought it was those two," Elizabeta said.

"I bet on it being Alfred and Arthur." Mathias and Elizabeta looked at him with raised eyebrows. He shrugged. "Alfred would do that type of thing, in my opinion."

Mathias ginned and ran a hand through his hair. "I bet on it being Sadik and Heracles."

"They're both in Drumline! Although, _amour _is _amour._" Francis shrugged and Elizabeta's eyes lit up.

"Hey, Elizabeta!" Alfred yelled as he ran over to them with Arthur, Gilbert, and Antonio jogging after him.

Elizabeta, Francis, and Mathias turned around, and waited for the other four to catch up with them. Alfred and his group would've been with them earlier, probably just as they left the Band building, but they'd decided to ask a few other people where they'd been the night before Alfred found the closet lube. They found out that the majority of the Woodwind students had been in the town watching some Jazz act at a local bar, and the Drumline students had been practicing their drill with Sigifrith. The Brass and Pitt students were scattered around the school and the town that night though, so it was basically just narrowed down to them.

Mathias cursed, having just lost 20 bucks. Honestly, he really shouldn't be allowed to bet, he's horrible at it. Francis grinned, as the two he'd placed his bet on were in Brass and Pitt. He hadn't lost his money yet, and hopefully wouldn't at all.

"So now all that's left is to find out who out of Brass and/or Pitt did it!" Alfred said after he'd explained all of this. Arthur's eyes got big as he remembered that he was in Pitt.

"And I think, being a Pittster, I should clarify that it was _not_ me, by any means," he said perhaps a little too hastily. Really, saying that so quickly would only make him _more_ of a suspect.

Alfred nodded. "Yeah, me either, just so you know. Meaning we certainly didn't do it together! So that leaves . . . A lot of people. Let's get to it!" He and Arthur started walking to the Pitt cage in the Auditorium to see if anyone was there, as Elizabeta, Mathias, and the Bad Touch Trio hung back for a minute.

"They so like each other," They said in unison. Then they jogged up to the blondes.

-(\/)-

Within another two hours they had discovered that no one was able to have been there. Which was pretty disappointing to Alfred's cause.

Arthur's brothers had nothing to do with it, this was obvious, even if Elizabeta thought they may have done it together. Arthur still refused to entertain the thought that his brothers had incestuous anger sex. Faren and Jett had been in the town at the time that anyone could've been in there to have sex. Faren also seemed disgusted by the idea, while Jett seemed indifferent.

Raivis and Eduard had been busy being terrorized by Ivan, and Vladimir had been annoying Elizabeta with Gilbert. Vash and his sister, Lili, were in the town, shopping, which was pretty uncharacteristic of Vash, since he didn't like to spend money a lot.

Kaoru and Emil's brothers, Yao and Lukas, both denied that their younger siblings would do something that gross, while said boys looked a little mortified. Roderich had been at the bar watching the jazz act that night, so he was ruled out, and so was Matthew, who was accompanying Alfred to the library to pretend to do work. Antonio had been with Francis, so he was also ruled out. Feliks and Kiku had been with Elizabeta at the local comic store, where doujin-shi's, some type of yaoi comic that Kiku and Elizabeta read were sold.

So, that meant that there was really no one who could have done it, unless everyone's stories had been lies, since they had all run into each other at one point. This was a pretty disappointing discovery for them all, along with all the other Band students who were curious about it. At least everybody got their money back, since there was no one who did it. Honestly if they really wanted to they could have asked other kids from the school, but there's really no reason for any of them to have gone into the band closet. Plus everyone was tired from running around all day.

So, this was ultimately left a mystery. To the students who didn't do it. We, however, will be able to find out. So many perks to being a reader, eh?

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_MUAHAHAHA. Like how I /didn't/ make this chapter about Hungary, Prussia, and Austria? SEEMED LIKE I WOULD IN THE LAST ONE, YES? WELP, TROLOLOLO_

_Double troll! You don't get to know who did it in this chapter~ (Unless you are my band friend, who is here right now, muaha) But I'll put it into the next chapter, no worries~ Though, when that will be out is unknown even to me... x'D_

_Anyways... Hmm. I don't have much else for you guys, but if I think of anything I'll just edit this. _

_Review, favorite, pleeeeaaaseee? :D_


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